I don't have words for it yet, but lately my heart has been sinking with Want
and I can sit at the bottom of that pool and freely breathe.
As most days, I feel like I'm above the waters yet drowning.
Wonder if that is a sign.
Or just an old habit that can't die without me.
Shards of happiness is the most I can swallow.
Anymore than that, I fall backwards into the broken bits of beautiful I've lived most of my short adult life.
I'm finally growing up, practical, rational and happy; It makes Me sad.
I am not This person.
Maybe that thought too makes everyone sad,
and desire to rewind to what was Mine, impossibly.
Just a midnight mind snack from the sunlight sleepless.
And goodnight from your favorite Pillowtalker, returned.