What I never want to hear ever again..

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I lay there in a frenzied calm for the inevitable.
It was time to get it over with.
Every girl has a first time.
It wasn't long before he looked down at me reassuringly and said,

'Take a deep breath and now open your legs.'

It was my first time getting something-better-than-a-pap-smear-which-name-I-forgot-and-I'm-lazy-to-Google with a male gynecologist whose wife was the obgn. She was smiling not so comfortingly at me while their nice malay lady assistant held my legs apart.
Did I mention all 3 of them we're present during my cervical swab?
Not everyday you have 3 people you just met staring up your cooch.
And not everyday you pay to have 3 people you just met to stare up your cooch.

I've put off a cervical swab for years so it was time. And in efforts to psych myself for it I read up on the procedure knowing exactly what a speculum is. Non medical guys, you would never guess.

Oh yeah.

That felt odd but bearable, since they put it in then expand it, you know, to get a good view of cervix in question. But then came the swab and scratch. All the websites said you'd experience 'A slight discomfort' so I was prepped for that.
But guess what?
The websites, they LIE.
I really started acting my age, I'm not ashamed to admit, and cried halfway through as I felt the hard triangular brush thingie scrape my cervix which up until then I didn't realize had feelings. And this coming from a girl who once fell semi asleep during a brazillian wax. My cervix was like 'Dude, not cool NOT COOL' and now trembles everytime I get a whiff of 'hospital smell' or when I see someone in white who smiles reassuringly.

Maybe it is my age or the fact up till now, most of my friends were dudes, so nobody ever told me what to expect or even if they've done it before. Will update on results.
Till then please try not to wear white and smile reassuringly at me
My cervix is still in trauma mode.

Pillowtalk Bolster

1 comment:

Next Previous