Cussing Responsibly.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Anyone can cuss up a storm. Some girls i know could put a drunk sailor to shame, and that's when they're Sahara sober. However, how many can a parent? You know, the ones who replace 'Sh*t' with 'Mush' and 'Fcuker' with 'Fish Nugget'? Maybe most, but not my father. There's something about my father and football that gives one who has 3 toddlers temporary parental amnesia. So i learned to say 'Fcking hell, fcuk fcuk fcuk' at the age of 5 along with the proper banging the imaginary table motions only a missed goal could conjure. But that aside, i am a light curser on good days and the only reason i use thees Lords name in vain is because I am a free-thinker.

Like most people, cussing comes to me quite unconsciously. However, a distant memory of an occasion i went on a date with a divorcee and he dragged his kid along, i realized how people can compartmentalize their potty vocabulary. Unlike my father he not only has a bitter ex wife to answer to but also her lawyer who he doesn't need to be reminded he pays for. It seems promising that the right kind of motivation makes concious usage of naughty words possible because taking my fathers football fan rage out of the equation, I was raised in a relatively conservative environment and despite my never-ending quest to not be my mother ever, she never did curse, not once, and i respect her for it. It was unbecoming of a lady she would say, especially one from a good family. Both of which I'd like to claim I am.

So, I have resolved to not cuss anymore. Not when TNB lies to me about the time they are going to put my electricity back on and my fridge starts melting all over the kitchen floor, when I'm annoyed to my wits end about another 4am call to claim undying love turned life threats or when i stubble my toe on the side of the bed. Those things can be dealt with by means of constructive anger management, voodoo dolls and yoga perhaps? However, when someone goes all out of their way to step on my toes and goes on to gloat about it openly adding in baseless defamation for good measure, I have to say I would not be above asking them what in the fckin hell is their problem and if they just had a botched colonic. People should be able to cuss when the situation calls for it. There only is so much a Lady should put up with ;)

Cussing responsibly,
Mush! Fish! Popsicle!
Pillowtalk Bolster