Muscle Memory: Last Post of the Scarcely Post Populated 2014.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I often forget,
the heart is a muscle too.

My 2014 blog project of  '52 Weeks: A Picture of My Favourite Things Once a
Week, Every Week in 2014'
made it to 17 Weeks before being side railed :(

I'm rather disappointed in myself because I knew I could continue where I left off after missing 3 weeks. But instead, I got overwhelmed trying to figure out how to catch up on the missed posts and ended up not being able to move forward with anything at all. Which is sad because I wanted to revert Pillowtalkpromises to what I loved about it - A personal scrapbook of memories and thoughts, instead of the 'billboard' I took to the bank before realizing how much I grew to dislike writing online.

But enough with the failed project pity party.
It's the last day of the year, and we should focus on what we've accomplished instead of what we haven't (yet.) Here's what I managed to cross of my list:

5 Resolutions I Didn't Fcuk Up in 2014.

1) Eat Healthfully.

Been very pro-alkaline foods since working through lunches lead to a near stomach hole from gastric.
So the enzymes from fresh produce is something I try to get more of.

And this year I can definitely say that I've never drank more juice or eaten more beautiful raw vegetables in my life.

Even managed to go raw vegan for 7 days and do regular juice fasts, something I could never dream of doing previously because it meant giving up stimulants and depressants i.e coffee and alcohol. 

But everything is impossible until it's done, isn't it :)

2) Climb Mont Kinabalu.

Seriously? I know right. 
It was the pipe dream of a weekly gym runner whose Buddums was forming a group to brave Kinabalu via Mesilau, the longer route.

I'm the freezing/starving/sleepless lil' pink blob admiring the view 13,435 ft above sea level.

And I powered through it as proof (to myself, at least) that one step at a time can really get you somewhere.

3) Be More Self Accepting

The journey for self acceptance isn't smooth ride, for anyone I imagine.

And it's hard to truly care for anything else without first caring for yourself.
Yet you can't learn to love what you are without knowing, at the very least, your sense of self.

(Road signs, you know, relevant to the journey of life.)

This year, I've been consciously coming to terms with who I was, who I am and who I'm going to be.

Apparently, that makes my perspective of life is very 'zen monk-ish.'

But hey, for the first time I'm quite happy for no reason. Which is an achievement when you've been raised to believe if you aren't suffering constantly that you're simply not working hard enough.

The struggle is real.

4) Jump Off a Cliff and Not Die.

I was meant to do go bunjee jumping last year but decided against it due to the effects it could have on your spine, falling head first. 

Then Dimps told me about the biggest Canyon Swing in New Zealand where you fall in a seated position, and I had my heart set!

Liked it so much that we jumped twice and I brought my camera to next-level selfie within the canyon.

Out of focus, adrenaline high.
Bucket List Item 6 - Check.

5) Find a Home.

Some little girls dream of their wedding day.
I just dreamt of having my own home.

Here is a picture I got for Xmas/Birthday to put in my biggest present ever - A studio duplex!
*heart*heart*heart* :')
Super grateful to have a partner who made my little girl dream come true before I managed to myself. 
Renovation in progress and moving early next year.

Can't say it wasn't a great year, even if I didn't manage to do all I hoped to.
In case you were wondering (and to remind myself,) here is what I hope to get done next year/after tomorrow.

5 Rememberlutions I Will Try Not To Forget in 2015

1) Learn to Drive (Suprise! I'm like MyTeksi's No.1 Client)
2) Make More Time for Friends
3) Pick up Yoga (Again)
4) Commit to a 10 Day Silence Retreat (Dreading this immensely)
5) Do Something I Never Thought I'd Be Able to Do

Happy New Year celebrations, loves!
Would love to hear what you managed to get done and what resolutions for this brand spanking year?

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SHOOT: Shadows of Youth Past with Dennis LHY (Pt2/3)

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

My family moved out of the childhood home I've sleepwalked in, since moving to Malaysia at 5, recently. By family I mean my mother, seeing as everyone else with my same DNA and dry humor are scattered across the sea. I didn't think much of the old place. I just lived there, after all; as children do. And frankly, I could not get away from it fast enough.

But now, I'm suddenly struck by how I can't go back, 
even if I wanted to.

Shot by Dennis LHY Photography

Why we need keepsakes aside from memory are beyond me.

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SHOOT: Shadows of Youth Past with Dennis LHY (Pt1/3)

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Being back where I started, startles.

Everything feels faded, as if
Sleeping in the shadow of its former self.

Where I couldn't be, I could only leave,

And suddenly, the sinks too low, the stairs too narrow;
when did this room get so small?

Idle days smudge together to the drip of dial up

 Each childhood memory an etch-a-sketch, 
unrecognisable to the next.

Time, he blankets what I can't recall.

Still, there's something to say of this hollowed out shell
where I don't live any more.

Location: My childhood home

Shadows of Youth Past (Pt2/3) - Coming Soon

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